The First Week of My Relationship With Lexapro

It's been almost a week since I started Lexapro, and I can't believe I didn't start it sooner. They told me it could take a few weeks to start feeling results, but it started working almost right away.

Situations that would have normally put me into a downward spiral, I instead approached with ease, I was able to concentrate at work and most of all I felt happy -- something that I haven't felt in a really, really long time.

As I've previously pointed out, I'm still worried about side effects, but so far, it seems like I'm doing pretty well on it. The first few days I felt very jittery and wide awake, but part of my depression made me always want to sleep, so I can't say if that was actually a true side effect of the pill, or I was just starting to feel normal. I also had a bit of a stomach issue, but that may have been from something I ate and had nothing to do with the pill.

They say Lexapro isn't addictive, but I'm hooked -- in a good way of course. My fear is that I NEVER want to go back to feeling like I did before.

Taking the Medication Plunge

After putting this off for as long as I could, I finally caved.

I started taking anti-depressants.

Today was my first day of taking Lexapro.

It was something I really didn't want to do, but gave into the peer pressure of trying it, because I knew it could help how unhappy I've been feeling for a very, very long time.

My main concern was the side effects, but the doctor assured me this particular medication isn't so bad. However, on my first day, I've had a headache, my stomach feels like it's eating itself and felt like my heart was racing out of chest. (OK, the last could be from a cup of Starbucks coffee, but that's not a normal reaction for me.)

I guess we will see what happens, but I'm not betting the house on it.

'Just Get Over It'

It's a phrase that I have come to hate.

It was said to me about 25 times in the last several days when talking about things I'm upset with.

You know what? It's hard to "Just Get Over It."

Unfortunately you can't just turn off your feelings, especially when you don't know why you are having them to begin with. But, many people don't understand that, and it's something that you can't explain, unless the other person is going through it.

How others handle the "Just Get Over It" comments?

Depression's Catch 22

I'd say 80 percent of the time I hate my life and the various situations that go along with it. But, then, I feel guilty for feeling that way, because other people have it worse. This was a major part of why I never sought help from a professional before -- GUILT.

For example, while I'm miserable at my job, I feel lucky just to have one. So what if I'm treated like a chewed piece of gum on the bottom of your shoe? At least I have a paycheck coming in. There are so many other people who don't have that.

Many of them center around my job. But, they span a whole spectrum, and these examples could go on forever.

The other day I was complaining to a friend about being unhappy, and in not-so-many words they basically were like - dude, everyone is miserable. Get over it.

Yeah, that hurt, but it's also a major reason I never took feeling miserable seriously. It's normal not to be happy. Right? It's normal to not be in the spot in life you hoped for. Right?

I guess the answer is, it all really depends.

From what I'm learning, those feeling are normal, but not when they last for extended periods of time, effect your work, social life and well-being.

Do I Really Have That Many Tears?

If there was an Oscar for crying, I should win -- or at least be nominated.

I'm a pretty tough chick, but the past few years crying has become the norm: at night, on the train to work hiding behind my sunglasses, while trying to fall asleep, pretty much most of the time.

It sucks.

I guess it's my way of reacting to what is going on in my life, and sometime it makes me feel better, but other times it just makes me feel like shit. I mean seriously, why the hell am I crying so much?

It's part of the depression, and I now get that. But, it's really weird when you are crying and you don't know why.

Would love to hear how others deal with the insane bouts of crying that just come out of the blue.